It's official...

My best friend is moving to Florida.

In 3 weeks.

Her husband got a job there.

I'm so tired of all my friends moving away.

I know I need to stop having a pity party for myself,

but I don't make real friends easily.

And they've all moved away now. 

Seriously, this sucks.

uggh.

I'm sick and it's ISTEP week. 

Boo to everything.

There is nothing worse than ISTEP.

Except maybe sinus pressure.

The good news is, my gardening and painting is going awesome.

Updates later.

When I don't feel like my eyes are going to explode out of my head due to sinus pressure.

And I miss my husband. 

Lots.

Uggh.

♥

Yeah, I thought I needed sleep last week....Haha

I am 20x more tired tonight than last weekend. 

The reason for this is that I had a little adventure last night. 

To make a long story short, my best friend Amanda and I went to dinner, 

and we were driving back to my car so I could drive home, at about 10PM.

Her brothers car (which he had switched with her because he wanted to use hers for a long trip) was making a strange noise. 

And, in the middle of the street, while we were driving through a residential area of Indianapolis, 

our tire came off.

Like, completely off our car. 

We went right into the turn lane as our tire rolled left across the street.

It was scary, and we were pretty shaken,

but safe.

Amanda's dad drove 40 minutes to save us and put our tire back on,

because her brother's car didn't have a tire iron.

Seriously. 

It happened around 10P.M., by the time I got home, it was 1AM.  

I get up at 6:30 AM.

Boo. 

Honestly, though, someone upstairs was looking out for us.

It could have happened to her brother on the interstate far from home. 

We almost took the interstate, and didn't.

There was no damage to the axle of the car or the tire. 

We were able to pull into literally the only turn lane on the entire road.

We found all 5 lugnuts in the street, none of them rolled into the rocky ditch or across the road.

We were lucky,

and I am so thankful.

Also adding to the sleep depravation, 

I started full time student teaching on Tuesday.

It's been quite an eventful week, in an urban public elementary school kind of way.

One drug deal, one abuse report, a screaming match full of swearing, hungry kids, a bedbug outbreak, and of course, lots of kids with need.

but good things too.

Successful learning, a lot of good relationships made with my students, and, especially today, lots of smiles. 

But, I am exhausted.

I start officially teaching next week, 

math all day, all week.

I'm actually kind of excited about it!

I love these kids so much already,

and I want to be a positive in their life.

Looking forward to the weekend, but I have so much to do.

I'm already overwhelmed.

Oh boy.

I think I'll start with some sleep.

♥

Bring it on.

I'm taking on the president of my HOA. 

She's finally pushed me over the limit.  

I've had run in's with her in the past, mostly about our mailbox (there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it, but she's determined to force us to get a new one because it doesn't match) and other silly things like a stray dog in our yard, and our grass being 1/4 of an inch too tall. Yeah, seriously. We had been on vacation for a week, and a citation was waiting in our box. Ridiculous. 

But today, i got one of her monthly emails.

She has been on a serious crime-watch kick, and has lined up self defense classes for the neighborhood for free. All fine.

But, she then added a list of "crime watch information" as she called it that was 10 pages long. 

This document listed every police call for the year of 2011, including what the call was for (domestic disturbance, rape, mental health issues, and attempted suicide were all included) and the ADDRESS where these things happened. Also, she included whether an arrest was made or not.

She also says she is going to start forwarding these documents to us monthly.

I can't even begin to tell you how much this bothers and disgusts me.  

It is an unbelievably blatant violation of all respect and privacy for everyone in our edition.  

I am furious.

I called the property manager, and they seemed pretty shocked as well.

I forwarded the email to them, and they are going to investigate and get back to me.

I can't undo the 10 pages she sent out already, but I'm going to try my darnedest to get future ones STOPPED.

Bring it on, lady, I'm done.

Mini-rant and what I'm thankful for today.

I'm going to climb up on my soapbox for a minute.

If you see something tragic from afar, 

i.e. someone get hit by a car or someone falling to their death,

don't

go home and facebook about it.

Really? A tragedy has hit that person and their whole families, and you are going to go put it up on your facebook to attract "Oh poor you" comments, and get attention from it?

It's totally cold hearted and selfish.

Okay, enough ranting for the day.

I have a ton of homework, and I am very sleep deprived, which makes me cranky. 

I almost never remember my dreams, but last night I had an extremely vivid nightmare that kept me up half the night.

So I definitely need a reminder of what I'm thankful for today, which is...

My mom.

She's coming over to take me out to dinner tonight for a much needed break.
She's also listened and been supportive of me for all of my emotional breakdowns in the last 6 months, and most of the ones before that, as well.
She has turned out to be one of the most important people in my life, and I don't know what I would do without her.

How cute are we in our Christmas Sweaters? =)

I'm so very thankful for her.
♥

Here we go again...

Well friends....

More bad things coming my way.

Over that same assignment as last time, from the same woman as last time.

Who is not my teacher.

So I'm not really sure why I'm being called to a meeting my her and my professor,

over my lack of quantity in my work.

I could go into the long, drawn out story of how I had 3 weeks less to work on it then everyone else, due to my prof changing my focus student halfway though, which was completely out of my control, and she totally knew it, but what's the point.

I'm getting screwed over here. 

End of story.

I'm kind of numb at this point.

How much worse can I feel, I was so depressed at the end of last semester that I could barely get off the couch.

I'm not going there again.

I've created a rebuttal for all of the things they said I did wrong, and I'm going to go in and present them with my head held high, because I haven't done anything wrong.

I'm also going to the dean of education, and presenting the same information.

I hope I can get through to someone.

How can one person be so determined to derail someone else's life?

If I can't continue at my school now, 

I WILL get my degree.

I am a good teacher.

It's all I've ever wanted to do.

I'll probably transfer back to BSU, and commute for a semester, which is all i should need.

This is where my strength is coming from.

Every day, I've been writing 

Romans 8:31 

on my arm.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

I'm pretty lucky to have an awesome husband who believes in me, too.

Because here we go again...

♥

Fall garden...

I waited on these seeds for my fall garden for 2 weeks,

and have been patiently and carefully getting them started in pots in my kitchen windowsill.

Yesterday, they looked like this.

See all the little sprouts with the little leaves on them? I was very excited.

Emma got on the window sill today.

10 minutes later, they looked like this.

The ones that aren't ripped completely out of the dirt are missing their leaves.

There are even little kitty teeth marks in some of the leaves!!

Anyone want a stinking cat??

This is her "what are you going to do about it, mom?" face.

Grrr.

(Okay, I don't really want to get rid of her, but the thought did cross my mind for about 10 minutes after I found them.)

I. was. furious.

So, I guess it's back to square one for a fall garden.

Dang it. 

♥

World War III and Fridge art.

I've been waging war.

In my own home.

Fleas.

They are the ultimate enemy.

What started this was that Emma laid at the foot of my side of the bed on Sunday.

Sunday night, I went to sleep about 1AM, and kept dreaming that my feet were being eaten.

Finally, at 5AM, I got up, and went and looked at them in the bathroom under the light, and my feet and ankles looked like this:

 I had 12 of these bites. Ridiculous. And this was taken about 36 hours later, after most of the swelling had gone down.

I spent the rest of the night on the couch, and since then I've washed everything fabric in my whole house, and they've both had flea meds.

I will win.

Take that, fleas.

In more happy news, I got a new kitchen compost container!

 It holds 2.4 gallons, fits perfectly under my sink freeing up counter space,

 and has a great carbon filter to keep odor down, and came with 3 replacement filters!

I'm really excited about it, and the fact that I got it for about 60% off! It's also not clear, so you can't see all the yuckiness, which is kind of nice.

We had a cookout at our house this past weekend, for all of the people who play or sing in our church worship band with us, and their families.  We had a really good time, and I was left with some lovely refrigerator art.

The left side was done by Wyatt, and the right side was Jacqueline.
I love them, they make me smile.

I will leave you with a video of my crazy, funny dog.
She has been extraordinarily needy lately! She just wants attention all the time.
Turn your volume all the way up, and listen to how stinking needy she's been!

She did this for 30 minutes.
She's actually doing it right now.
 As I type this.
Crazy, crazy dog.
♥

What a day...

It's been insane. 

Today started off great, though.

Jamie and I went shopping for yard supplies.

I am so beyond excited, because we got a hammock stand on sale!!!!

I have been wanting a hammock for over a year, and I am so pumped for this!

Here is the one I ordered for us, it should be here within two weeks.

Awesome!

My other wonderful (and nerdy) find was this!

It is so informative, and is going to be super helpful.

We spent the morning working in the yard, and we are reenforcing our fence.

Take that rabbits!

Then, right as I was getting started at pulling weeds, looking forward to a night to relax in my garden, I got a text from work that said "Where are you?"

Yep. I was definitely scheduled to work 5-midnight.

So, with nasty, dirty hair, and having worked outside for hours, I had to go into work.

Yeah. Eww.

As I was pulling out of my drive, I noticed that my car was making a really strange noise.

Then, as I was going, all of my gauges went to zero. I had no idea how fast I was going, how many RPMs, nothing.  My odometer wasn't even rolling. Then, as I went to turn, I realized I had no acceleration power.  Then my power steering went out. I just kept thinking "Please just get me to work!" And then, right as I pulled into the lot at work, it died. Completely died. 

Yeah...It's not good.

We're pretty sure it's the alternator, which means we will have to buy a new one and a new battery. Ouch.

Jamie can't try and fix it until Saturday, so we are a one car family until then.

Ouch, again.

But, I did get to talk to the lovely Misty tonight, so it was a positive ending. =)

Here's hoping Jamie can get my car running before my work transfer on Sunday!

Oh, life. You are interesting. 

♥

Missed a spot...

Can I just say that I love my husband?

He is so great.

When I first decided on this compost project, 

I totally thought I could build a compost bin by myself.

hahaha, I know, right?

So, when about a month and a half went by, and all I had was this,

(again, I know, right?)

I started to whine a bit about how it was hard.

And maybe it was my whining, or the fact that we had 1 1/2 month old food scraps in our kitchen, or that I had his tools still spread out everywhere, but Tuesday morning, he took pity on me, and did this. Yes. All in one morning. 

He's so awesome.

We got hinges put on today, and got it filled with all of our yard and food waste that we had been storing up. Which was gross, but exciting. 

As you can see, he actually gave it two doors, on on top and one in front. He's a genius.

I also spent about 2 1/2 hours weeding my garden this morning. 

I worked out hardcore last night, so I knew it would be tough because I was sore, but I stuck it out, and once I got stretched out, it wasn't that bad.

It was a lot of work, but my grass patch now looks like a garden, lol. I feel very accomplished.

After all this, I went with Jamie to get some food, and then took about an hour long nap. And when I woke up, I was sore. Crazy sore. My arms and legs feel like I just ran a marathon.

And, when I knew I was going to be outside for a long time, I of course put on sunscreen, because skin safety is important. 

But, apparently my shirt slid down in the back after I started working, because I woke up with this.

I will admit, I find this almost as hilarious as it is painful. Almost.

So now I get to go work a 7 hour close with a 12"x6" burned rectangle on my back, and super sore arms and legs. 

I may not be able to get out of bed in the morning. 

haha, but seriously.

♥

Freaked out.

My 5 pound dog jumped out of the window of our moving vehicle today.

I will never forget seeing her hit the ground in the rearview mirror.

I screamed, and jumped out, and Jamie followed.

I got to her and scooped her up, and she was shaken, but we immediately checked her, and by the grace of God she could walk, and had no broken bones.

We got her in the car, and continued to look her over, and soon she and I were both covered with blood.

She has a few little scrapes on her front legs, and one great big giant scrape across her chin, that bled a lot.

We got her home, and as soon as we got in, she ran across the room and jumped up on the couch, reassuring us that there was no broken bones or internal damage.  

We called the vet, and she just said keep the scrape clean and put neosporin on it, and keep an eye on her. 

I was so scared.

My heart was pounding and I was near tears the whole way home.

It is a miracle that we were on a small side street, and not already on 267. 

There were no other cars, and we weren't going really fast.

It is a miracle that her tiny little legs didn't break on the landing.

We are SO thankful.

So for now we are just giving her lots of TLC.

She's moving a little slower, but other than that she seems to be back to her normal self.

Her chin is pretty swollen, and I know it is hurting her, because she lays her head down so it doesn't touch anything.

Now i just have to keep her from licking the Neosporin off. 

Definitely don't ever want to feel that helpless again.

Thank God she is okay.

It's a miracle.

♥

A ray of hope...

Rough day.

There are days when I can't imagine my life without the kids in my class.

I forget that their lives are troubled, I just see smiling young kids, and I get the luxury of helping improve their lives. I love it.

And then there are days like today, where the realities of the lifestyles they see and experience every day come crashing in on my life.
These kids live in a world where they were surrounded by poverty, drugs, immorality, and selfishness.
I've got kids with parents in jail, kids who don't eat on the weekends, kids who's parents are addicts, kids who've lost loved ones due to violence.
And it makes it really hard when you grow to love them.
I saw one of our EH (emotionally handicapped) students taken away in handcuffs today.
I have spent an great amount of one-on-one time with this student, and grown extremely fond of him, and he had a meltdown, and there was nothing anyone could do to calm him, so the police were called. 

It was an incredibly difficult look into the world these kids live in.
Had he been at a suburban school, where they would have more resources and training to deal with his disability, it never would have happened.

While it's hard, I try to remind myself that every person who tries to help them better themselves with a good education is a glimmer of hope for them to change their lives.
And that if I can push through the bad, I have the potential to be a ray of light in their difficult lives.

I feel that i have succeeded in that, at least a little.
My number one goal with this poetry unit was to give these kids a creative way to express themselves.  These kids have no band or choir, and art only once a week for an hour (and the only thing they do, every week, for the whole hour, is draw. Really?)
Standardized testing is pounded into their heads all day, every day, because the state is 2 seconds away from taking over the school.
So poetry was my attempt at helping them find a way to express themselves.
It hasn't sunk in with all of them, but I told myself at the beginning if I could help one, it would be a success. 
The following are some of the poems that warm my heart, and help me know I've done something positive for these kids.

5th grade poetry

When my mom

 died

It was the saddest

Day of my life

I was crying my heart out

Because a mother’s love

Is more special

Than anything in the world.

I loved my mom

With all my heart

Nothing in the world

Could split us apart.

Until the cold November afternoon

And I will never forget

That day…

The day my mom died.

-This students mom died of cancer last year, when he was a fourth grader. He and his dad framed this for his room.

No one wanted 9-11 to happen

 As the towers fell and crumbled

To the ground they fell

All the way down.

Screams and cries down the streets

Why would this be?

This is dedicated to Flight 93.

-This student was not even 2 years old when 9-11 happened. 

The guy is very shy.

When he’s bored he makes pie.

Instead of using a car, he flies.

We call him Fly Guy.

-I love this one, it just cracks me up. I think it's clever.

They’re people who stay

They’re people who will always be there.

They’re girls They’re boys

They’re not kiddy toys.

You don’t use them for their looks

Or their pretty voice.

That’s what friends are!

-This is a student who struggles in social situations, and I was proud of her for this.

Me and Dad really had nothing.

We had to work to earn food.

Me and dad really had nothing.

I had to clean for money.

Me and Dad really had nothing.

But the love and peace,

House and food he gave me.

Me and dad really had nothing,

But each other.

-This student is extremely closed, and puts up a front with everyone.  The only way we have been able to get through at all is by building up her writing, which she is very talented at. 

These give me hope.  

Hope that, even if only for 8 weeks,

I've made an impact on these kids.

Friday is my last day with them,

but I'll have these to remember them by forever. 

They make me proud.

Something's got to give.

I miss sleep.

I miss having time to eat healthy.

I miss watching movies.

I miss laughing all the time.

I miss my dog. 

I miss being happy at work.

I miss having energy.

I miss my friends.

I miss talking to my mom.

Believe it or not, I miss having time to take care of my house.

And mostly, I miss my husband.

Something's got to give. 

I'm pretty positive I can't do another 6 weeks of this, let alone another semester.

I'm tough, but this is insane.

♥

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

Jamie and I usually don't make a big deal out of Valentine's day, simply because it's not our style, but I have a feeling Jamie has something really big planned this year.

I am getting really, really excited for Saturday night. 

So, last night I made him these!

They are funfetti with Cherry icing!

He loves them!

And then today, I had a rough day. 

I went to lunch for my student teaching, and, in a bad, rough area of the city, (38th and Emerson, for those of you who are familiar with it), 45 minutes from my house, I locked my keys in my car.

Yep. Seriously.

Luckly, one of the teachers from the school also went to lunch there, and he and another patron of that Subway were able to get it open with a wire hanger. 

Yeah, I was definitely thanking God for that one. 

And, some of the stories of where the kids in my class come from, what they have been through, and how much they are struggling were just really, really wearing on me. By the end of the day, I was an emotional wreck. (yes, part of that is from only having 4 hours of sleep. But still)

After school, I went to my parent's house, and we went out for my mom's birthday!

(Since it is after midnight, I guess her birthday was technically yesterday, but oh well.) 

We went to their favorite sushi house, and they ate sushi, and I ate hibachi chicken.  

My stepdad told the workers that it was her birthday, and this is what happened:

hahaha, good thing she is a good sport! My stepdad loved it. =)

Then, when I got home, this is what was waiting for me:

I love my husband. 

These seriously made me smile so big. 

Despite all of the bad things, today was a good day because it reminded me of just how lucky I am to have such wonderful people to call family.

I feel blessed.

♥

Worst Customer Service... Ever.

I was required to get a county background check for my student teaching this semester.

To do this, I had to print the form, go to the country seat (danville), have it stamped, and then drive it to the IPS administration office downtown.

This is the interaction between myself and the lady working at the Sheriff's office, who we will further call the Sheriff's office lady, or SOL, as the alternate meaning for this acronym also describes her attitude.

[I walk in, there is only one visible window. So, I stop there. SOL looks up at me, catches my eye, and then goes back to her computer for nearly a full minute. I continue to wait.]

SOL: [finally coming to the window and looking annoyed] "I need your drivers license and five dollars."

Me: [taken aback] "...for a...background check?"

SOL: [more annoyed] "....yes."

Me: [trying to joke and break the tension]"Woah, you're good!"

SOL: [completely blank, annoyed, stare]

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, all I have is a ten, do you have change?"

SOL: [looks at me like I am stupid]"...No."

Me: "Okay, well....I don't have any other bills."[nervous smile]

[awkward pause]

SOL: [deep, aggravated sigh] "Give me the ten."

Me: [wondering if I am out five bucks, hands her the ten through the slot in the glass]

SOL: [pulls out a WHOLE BAG OF CHANGE from the drawer.  Digs out five ones, and shoves them through the slot in the window, so that the air lifts them up, and i have to chase them like an idiot. Barely looks at the sheet, barely looks at the computer, stamps it, comes back, and shoves the form and my license through the slot. And. Walks. Away.]

Me: "Thank you!"

SOL: [ignores me]

She was either having a really bad day, or she has a miserable life, all of which is the fault of her own mentality. 

I mean really, it's almost laughable. 

Being someone who works in the customer service industry, and who takes great pride in how I treat my customers, it makes me sad that someone can hate life so much that she takes it out on complete strangers.

This is just another experience to remind me of why I continue to try and have a positive outlook about everything.

Because I don't want to be this woman in 20 years.

♥

In a Funk.

Haven't felt much like blogging lately.

I know I shouldn't be, but I've been feeling lonely.

With Jamie on mandatory overtime, I LITERALLY don't see him Monday through Friday, except for around an hour a day, about 2 days a week. 

I hate it. I spend every evening either at work or at home alone, until I can't keep my eyes open on the couch.

I haven't seen Amanda or Emily since school let out, which is hard. 

I hadn't realized how much I had grown to depend on them.

My old friends I never see anymore. 

Everyone has more important things going on in their lives.

I have such a hard time getting to know someone on a deep level.

It's not easy for me to open up, and show people my true self,

and everyone that I've ever been able to get close to (other than Jamie) leave soon after.

It never fails.

Jamie asked me one time "Why do we chase away friends?"

He was only half joking.

As soon as we get really excited about someone being in our lives, they are gone.

I know I should stay positive, and think about all of the people who love and support me.

But right now, I just want someone to talk to,

and to see my husband.

Everyone deserves to be in a funk sometimes, right?

Buh. 

I give up on trying to be positive for a little while.

♥

Everyday Adventure, and Random Thursday Thoughts...

Our Washer broke last week.  

Seeing that it is 20 years old, and we bought it at a garage sale,

I'm not shocked.

But, I had already not done laundry for 2 weeks, because of the craziness of work and final projects.

So, our lovely little washer, decided to break the day I was going to do laundry.

Thanks for that.

Well, while we've been trying to figure out what to do about it.

I ran out of clothes. 

and Jamie ran out of clothes.

And we were out of clean towels. 

and using our last pair of clean sheets. 

So yesterday morning, I got fed up, and decided that we should go to the laundromat, and then buy a new washer this week. So, we took an everyday adventure to the laundromat!

You may think I'm kidding about the volume of laundry, but I have proof.  This is every dirty article of clothing in the house, and we took it all to the laundromat with us. 

It was ridiculous. 

When we got there, I had to run and pick up laundry detergent, because of course we forgot it. 

And then we put all the laundry in.

We took up ALL of these industrial washers, including the giant one on the end, PLUS one more, and an equal amount of dryers.

Again, ridiculous.

By the time we were done, Jamie had only 30 minutes to leave for work, which he was super grouchy about.  We ended up having an argument about his attitude, which he called and apologized about. 

Crazy morning.

________________________

I know in the blogging world, randomness is usually saved for "Totally Random Tuesday" (as can be seen here and here.) But, I'm an individual, and decided to do it today. Plus, I don't want to wait until Tuesday to share my thoughts. 

_________________________

Got my parent's Christmas Card today, and they used on of my wedding pictures on it! I thought it was really cute.

I love that Dex is on their card, when they teased me about my furry kids. haha

_________________________

Minnie has it made this winter.  Last year, Jamie had to shovel her a big flat spot for her to potty in, every time it snowed, so she doesn't drown in the snow.

This year, he took our screen off before the first big snow (not like we will be using it this winter) and made Minnie a "potty hut."

All we have to do is keep the "entrance" clear, and she's good to go.

She said "Thanks, Dad!" by licking him in the face 80 times.

Oh wait.

That's normal. 

Well, either way, I know she appreciates it. 

_________________________

I hate mandatory overtime. 

(That's such a stupid concept to me anyway. How can you REQUIRE someone to work overtime?)

Thanks SDI, for stealing my husband again, just when I was excited school was out so I could see him more.

But no.

He now has to work 3PM to 3AM until the end of the year.

Awesome. Back to falling asleep alone.

Grrrr.

So, because I haven't seen him at all this week, I took Asia Wok (the best Chinese food in town) out to him last night, and we ate dinner together! 

It was awesome.

I tried on his hard hat, and safety glasses. I think I'm going to start wearing them daily. Not. 

_________________________

Monday (yes, the day after that big snow) I was still required to drive to the east side of indy, to go to a meeting at my school for student teaching, because IPS only closes if it's a weather emergency. 

What should have taken me 30 minutes took me an hour and ten. 

When I got there, the meeting lasted 20 minutes, so we went upstairs to meet our mentor teachers, and mine was gone, on her first sick day in four years. Awesome. 

So, I drove home (it only took me 50 minutes that time).  What a lame morning. 

But, I did get to see the school, and get oriented with it. 

I will be in a fifth/sixth combined math classroom.

Oh man.

Talk about a challenge. 

Sixth graders and math.

But, I'm kind of excited about it, at the same time. It's going to be something new and fun.

Just wish I could meet my teacher, so I could stop worrying about that.

_________________________

My Ball State roommate Sarah got engaged this weekend!!

She and Jared have been together 6 years, (so it's about time!) 

She called me the other night to tell me about it, she is on cloud nine!

I am so excited and happy for her, he's a great guy. 

She told me her mom has already made a list of venues, lol.

And, I am going bridesmaid dress shopping with the lovely Amanda, for Amanda and Joe's wedding next year!

We are all going over Christmas break.

So Excited!!!

They are seriously the cutest couple ever, and I am so excited to be a part of their day!

_________________________

Well, I'm out of here.

Have to go clean my house. 

Yay....

♥