Yeah, I thought I needed sleep last week....Haha

I am 20x more tired tonight than last weekend. 

The reason for this is that I had a little adventure last night. 

To make a long story short, my best friend Amanda and I went to dinner, 

and we were driving back to my car so I could drive home, at about 10PM.

Her brothers car (which he had switched with her because he wanted to use hers for a long trip) was making a strange noise. 

And, in the middle of the street, while we were driving through a residential area of Indianapolis, 

our tire came off.

Like, completely off our car. 

We went right into the turn lane as our tire rolled left across the street.

It was scary, and we were pretty shaken,

but safe.

Amanda's dad drove 40 minutes to save us and put our tire back on,

because her brother's car didn't have a tire iron.

Seriously. 

It happened around 10P.M., by the time I got home, it was 1AM.  

I get up at 6:30 AM.

Boo. 

Honestly, though, someone upstairs was looking out for us.

It could have happened to her brother on the interstate far from home. 

We almost took the interstate, and didn't.

There was no damage to the axle of the car or the tire. 

We were able to pull into literally the only turn lane on the entire road.

We found all 5 lugnuts in the street, none of them rolled into the rocky ditch or across the road.

We were lucky,

and I am so thankful.

Also adding to the sleep depravation, 

I started full time student teaching on Tuesday.

It's been quite an eventful week, in an urban public elementary school kind of way.

One drug deal, one abuse report, a screaming match full of swearing, hungry kids, a bedbug outbreak, and of course, lots of kids with need.

but good things too.

Successful learning, a lot of good relationships made with my students, and, especially today, lots of smiles. 

But, I am exhausted.

I start officially teaching next week, 

math all day, all week.

I'm actually kind of excited about it!

I love these kids so much already,

and I want to be a positive in their life.

Looking forward to the weekend, but I have so much to do.

I'm already overwhelmed.

Oh boy.

I think I'll start with some sleep.

♥

A lot of randomness.

Worked my last 18 hour day for a while on Friday.

It was my last day of student teaching.

I cried.

I have learned so much, and am so thankful for the time I got to be there. 

I had about a million goodbye cards, and I will love them forever.

Then I worked all day Saturday, and then Jamie and I went out and joined the masses of the last minute shoppers, because I decided I wanted a new dress for Easter. 

I had something really weird happen to me, when shopping though.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt super uncomfortable and unhappy with my body.

It took me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a size 2, and to learn to love my body the way it is.  

But for some reason, while trying on dresses, I had this attack of self-consciousness.
I actually cried in the dressing room, and told Jamie "I feel humongous! I hate it!"

It actually kind of freaked Jamie out a bit, because as he said "In the 4 years we have been together you have never voiced any kind of concern like that to me at all." 

I was able to pull myself together after a few minutes and a husband pep talk, and have a good night.

I'm still a bit shaken from it though, and don't really understand why it happened.

But anyway, this is the one I ended up with:

I'm really happy with it, it's super cute.

It'll also work great for the 3 weddings I have to go to this summer. 

More than anything, I was just excited to get to spend the evening with Jamie.

We still don't see much of each other, and we can't wait until the school year's over, so we have more time together. 

We also had our grandfather clock delivered!

Jamie's Nan left us that clock specifically in her will, and I know he is so thrilled for it to be at our house finally.  It looks amazing.

The picture totally doesn't do it justice, but I hope you can at least tell how grand it is. 

I love it.

I was a bit worried that the chime would annoy me at first, but it's actually very quiet, which works perfectly for us.

And then yesterday for Easter, we were going to drive to Rockville and spend it with Jamie's family, but after church Jamie just wasn't feeling well.

He still isn't, and the doctor told him today that he is not allowed to go back to work until wednesday.

I think it's a combination of exhaustion and a cold he is coming down with. 

He just feels totally run down, and exhausted all the time.

Hopefully these two days off will help. 

(And I'm pretty thrilled about having him home with me tonight and tomorrow night.)

So, instead, we spend the evening of Easter taking naps, watching movies, and studying at Arby's. 

It was actually really great.

I'm excited about a lot of things.

School being almost over, Summer, more time with Jamie, my garden, and vacations, including a visit to see Misty very soon! 

Yay!

But now i have to go do homework, to make sure that I pass this class and can enjoy my summer. 

Uggh.

♥

A ray of hope...

Rough day.

There are days when I can't imagine my life without the kids in my class.

I forget that their lives are troubled, I just see smiling young kids, and I get the luxury of helping improve their lives. I love it.

And then there are days like today, where the realities of the lifestyles they see and experience every day come crashing in on my life.
These kids live in a world where they were surrounded by poverty, drugs, immorality, and selfishness.
I've got kids with parents in jail, kids who don't eat on the weekends, kids who's parents are addicts, kids who've lost loved ones due to violence.
And it makes it really hard when you grow to love them.
I saw one of our EH (emotionally handicapped) students taken away in handcuffs today.
I have spent an great amount of one-on-one time with this student, and grown extremely fond of him, and he had a meltdown, and there was nothing anyone could do to calm him, so the police were called. 

It was an incredibly difficult look into the world these kids live in.
Had he been at a suburban school, where they would have more resources and training to deal with his disability, it never would have happened.

While it's hard, I try to remind myself that every person who tries to help them better themselves with a good education is a glimmer of hope for them to change their lives.
And that if I can push through the bad, I have the potential to be a ray of light in their difficult lives.

I feel that i have succeeded in that, at least a little.
My number one goal with this poetry unit was to give these kids a creative way to express themselves.  These kids have no band or choir, and art only once a week for an hour (and the only thing they do, every week, for the whole hour, is draw. Really?)
Standardized testing is pounded into their heads all day, every day, because the state is 2 seconds away from taking over the school.
So poetry was my attempt at helping them find a way to express themselves.
It hasn't sunk in with all of them, but I told myself at the beginning if I could help one, it would be a success. 
The following are some of the poems that warm my heart, and help me know I've done something positive for these kids.

5th grade poetry

When my mom

 died

It was the saddest

Day of my life

I was crying my heart out

Because a mother’s love

Is more special

Than anything in the world.

I loved my mom

With all my heart

Nothing in the world

Could split us apart.

Until the cold November afternoon

And I will never forget

That day…

The day my mom died.

-This students mom died of cancer last year, when he was a fourth grader. He and his dad framed this for his room.

No one wanted 9-11 to happen

 As the towers fell and crumbled

To the ground they fell

All the way down.

Screams and cries down the streets

Why would this be?

This is dedicated to Flight 93.

-This student was not even 2 years old when 9-11 happened. 

The guy is very shy.

When he’s bored he makes pie.

Instead of using a car, he flies.

We call him Fly Guy.

-I love this one, it just cracks me up. I think it's clever.

They’re people who stay

They’re people who will always be there.

They’re girls They’re boys

They’re not kiddy toys.

You don’t use them for their looks

Or their pretty voice.

That’s what friends are!

-This is a student who struggles in social situations, and I was proud of her for this.

Me and Dad really had nothing.

We had to work to earn food.

Me and dad really had nothing.

I had to clean for money.

Me and Dad really had nothing.

But the love and peace,

House and food he gave me.

Me and dad really had nothing,

But each other.

-This student is extremely closed, and puts up a front with everyone.  The only way we have been able to get through at all is by building up her writing, which she is very talented at. 

These give me hope.  

Hope that, even if only for 8 weeks,

I've made an impact on these kids.

Friday is my last day with them,

but I'll have these to remember them by forever. 

They make me proud.

Keepin' on keepin' on.

Another crazy week has past.

My team teacher, who I rely on for half of the planning and teaching, was out for the entire week.

It turned into a less-than-pretty situation.

The long and short of it is I did all the teaching last week, and all of the planning for this week.

It was exhausting.  

But, I can honestly say that I received some really positive feedback about stepping up in a tough situation, and that my teaching abilities drastically improved during that week.

So, there was some positivity that came out of it all.

I also started counting calories again.

I have gained 18 pounds since school started. (gasp!)

I realized that it is because I don't work very hard to monitor what I'm eating.

When you work 18 hours a day, you get into a habit of just grabbing something.

So, starting last wednesday, I downloaded an app from a website that counts your calories, subtracts calories burned through exercise, and tracks your progress, and even your nutrition. It's free, and based off of myfitnesspal.com

So far it's been pretty difficult, the first week always is.  But, this is how I lost weight my freshman year at Ball So I know if I just stick through it, it will get easier, and it WILL work.

I get to do a little proud mama bragging for a few minutes.

I created a 6 week long poetry unit for my fifth graders, with the thought that if I could just help one of them develop a love for creative writing, then it would be a success.

While I do hear "I hate poetry." daily, there are definitely a few of my students who have taken a love to it. I'm so proud of them, and hopefully I will be able to share some of their writings eventually.

They make me really proud that I can give these kids a way to express their feelings.

On a random note, My in-laws and niece Sarah stopped by (unannounced) and brought their new chocolate chihuahua puppy.

This is the pandaemonium that ensued in my backyard.

hahaha, it was pretty amusing.

My spring break starts in 4 days!!! 

I am so so so excited!

And Sunday is my first day off from school AND work since January!!

We are going to see Amos Lee in concert at the Murat that night, and I am so pumped.

It will be a much needed break.

I plan on blogging every day that week, because I miss it so.

Looking forward to my week off, and hope everyone is doing well!

♥

What a week.

My life is insane.

On top of my student teaching this week 

(which we took over all day this week, every lesson is on us. Teaching is exhausting,)

and my work,

my niece got her tonsils taken out on Monday. 

That wouldn't really have affected me all that much, other than visiting her and taking her movies.

But, she spent the few hours after her surgery texting me and begging me to come to my house.

She also wanted to go to my mother-in-law's house.

I talked to my mother-in-law, and she told me that she wanted her to stay at her dad's, but that she was taking her food, and would be spending several hours a day there.

So, that made me feel better, and I drove her out some popsicles and movies that evening. 

When I got up the stairs to the apartment, I walked into:

My mother-in-law trying to coax Nat into swallowing her medicine.

Natalie shoulders heaving, tears rolling, sobbing, from pain.

My father-in-law yelling at my brother-in-law, her father.

Her pain medicine was 2 hours overdue.

So, my mother-in-law and I talked it out, and Natalie spent the last 3 days and nights on my couch, watching movies and sleeping. 

We gave her her medicine every 4 hours for 3 straight days. Including 2AM. And 6AM.

We made sure she ate.

And had everything she needed.

It was utterly exhausting.

She's at my mother-in-law's now, they picked her up today, so things should calm a bit. 

I'm glad to help out, and she needed us and I'm glad we were there, 

but I hate that it had to happen in the first place.

In other news of my life, I have done nothing new or exciting.

Just school and work.

I would love to blab on for hours about how awesome my students are, and how much I love teaching, 

But I could go on for hours about that.
Maybe next time.

My life is so monotonous, now that all i do is work and sleep.

Only 5 more weeks.

 I can do it. 

I hope.

I just want life to be exciting again.

I really miss blogging, too. But when I don't have time to wash dishes, play with my dog, or talk to my husband, I have to prioritize. 

The good news is that I my husband and I get to sleep in in the morning, and it will be the first time in almost a month for me.

And we are so having pancakes.

Wonderful.

I can't wait.

♥

Here we go, Ladies and Gentlemen..

Here. We. Go.

I started full-time student teaching today. 

I will be working full time at the store AND full time student teaching for the next two weeks.

Insane. 

I will say though, that I love being in the classroom full time. 

Love it. 

It just reminds me that this is where I'm supposed to be. Even with all of the challenges I face in that school, it's where I'm supposed to be.

So, this past weekend was sort of Jamie and I's last hurrah, and it was great.

Saturday morning we got up and made pancakes, yum! And then we both went to work until midnight. 

When I got home, he said, "We should go out." 

To which i readily replied "Yeah!"

I don't think he expected that, but he followed through. 

So, we went to Claddagh's, Howl at the Moon, and then Steak and Shake.

It was so fun.

But, we didn't get home until 4 AM.

So, needless to say, we slept in on Sunday.

I was feeling a little under the weather, anyway. 

After I crawled out of bed and took some Tylenol, 

we took a bike ride!

We put on earmuffs, gloves, and coats, and rode around our edition and the edition across the street.  

It was great, but also reminded me of just how out of shape I am.

And that is REALLY out of shape.

Yikes.

Then, Sunday night, I watched one of our pre-streets, called "Get Low"

Pre-streets are movies that are at the store before they go on the shelves. 

It's a lovely little perk of working at Family Video.

"Get Low," however, was one of the best movies I've seen in a while. I love small, independent titles, and this was a great one. 

Seriously, it was absolutely wonderful. I was really, really impressed, and I would recommend it to all.

And, I'm really excited, because there were TWO previews of movies that I think look awesome!

I have also found a new musical love. 

Dum da da dum!

Florence + the Machine.

They are awesome.

I bought their CD "Lungs" and it is awesome. I just love her voice. 

This is the video from their most famous release "Dog Days are Over."

Just a warning, the video is VERY eccentric, so please don't let that turn you off of the song. 

Because it's awesome.

And there's some good news around here!

Minnie's ears are finally getting better!

The white little spots on the tips of her ears are where the sores were. They have scabbed over and healed, which makes me a really, really happy woman. 

She's pretty happy too, I can tell. 

Well, I'm off to do the last little bit of homework I have before biggest loser. 

♥

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

Jamie and I usually don't make a big deal out of Valentine's day, simply because it's not our style, but I have a feeling Jamie has something really big planned this year.

I am getting really, really excited for Saturday night. 

So, last night I made him these!

They are funfetti with Cherry icing!

He loves them!

And then today, I had a rough day. 

I went to lunch for my student teaching, and, in a bad, rough area of the city, (38th and Emerson, for those of you who are familiar with it), 45 minutes from my house, I locked my keys in my car.

Yep. Seriously.

Luckly, one of the teachers from the school also went to lunch there, and he and another patron of that Subway were able to get it open with a wire hanger. 

Yeah, I was definitely thanking God for that one. 

And, some of the stories of where the kids in my class come from, what they have been through, and how much they are struggling were just really, really wearing on me. By the end of the day, I was an emotional wreck. (yes, part of that is from only having 4 hours of sleep. But still)

After school, I went to my parent's house, and we went out for my mom's birthday!

(Since it is after midnight, I guess her birthday was technically yesterday, but oh well.) 

We went to their favorite sushi house, and they ate sushi, and I ate hibachi chicken.  

My stepdad told the workers that it was her birthday, and this is what happened:

hahaha, good thing she is a good sport! My stepdad loved it. =)

Then, when I got home, this is what was waiting for me:

I love my husband. 

These seriously made me smile so big. 

Despite all of the bad things, today was a good day because it reminded me of just how lucky I am to have such wonderful people to call family.

I feel blessed.

♥

Weekend!!!

Cleaning like a maniac before work today. 

Friends are coming over tomorrow!

We are having a very belated Christmas dinner (as our first date was cancelled due to Emily's ACTUAL Christmas dinner.)

Very excited about this. 

But, our house sucks.

I'm also working on my unit for student teaching,

and it's going to be based on black history month.

I am learning so much about inner city schools already. 

I asked them if they had anything specific they wanted to learn about, and their response was:

"not slavery or dead guys, that's all we ever learn about."

I had never thought of it this way. 

But it's true. 

So, I spent about 2 hours yesterday looking up still living black men and women who had done something important or were heros of some kind. I found a famous neurosurgeon, first black man in space, first woman pilot to fly a fighter jet (that just happened last year, by the way), and the first black primary dancer for the NYC ballet (who went on to start the Harlem ballet company), among many more.

I am so excited about getting to share some positive cultural messages with these kids. 

I'm finally getting a view on what it's going to be like to be a teacher.  After all of these years of classes, and theory, it's finally here.

And I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. 

It's without a doubt what I was meant to be. 

Oh, and I picked up my bridesmaid dress yesterday!

It's so gorgeous. 

I can't wait to show amanda tomorrow night!

It's been a good weekend so far. 

Which I desperately needed.

Glad it's here.

♥